I have demons in me.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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