Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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