just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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