Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize