At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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