Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
