I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
