You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
