just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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