i think my tv is drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
