come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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