i don't like sucking hair
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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