I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
