worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
