would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish i was in the wii world.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
