she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
