Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
