At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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