just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
