Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize