im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize