I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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