She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
