is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
