Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
