I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
