i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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