What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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