They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
