this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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