tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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