Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
