; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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