My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
