My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize