Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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