i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
