That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We need to get me chipped asap
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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