It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
