just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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