Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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