He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
