You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
