ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
