Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
