Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize