Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
