she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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