Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
