You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
