every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
