Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
