I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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