I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
