listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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