I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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