Can i not drive my cunt home
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
