I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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