they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
