My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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