I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
