just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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