its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's shark week go big or go home
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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