i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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